WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD — UNLIKELY DAD

My two best friends are having a baby and I couldn’t be more happy for them. I even cried when i saw the first signs of a bump. They are girls and we are boys but we are so similar, maybe that’s why we get on so well. We’ve been on holidays together, shared many an evening in, eating and watching movies and plenty of double dates. Then 18 months ago, our little boy was added in to the equation.

I was never worried how it would change things, they are more than friends, they are our sisters. I knew they would be there for us, and they are, we just now have our little boy joining the gang. It is the next stage of our lives. The brunches are now a little messier and the evenings are mostly held at our house (unless we get a sitter and head to theirs for the night!). They love our little boy like they love us.

Right now they are so bloody lucky. They still get the lay ins, time to potter around, take it easy and watch movies all Sunday.

But soon it’ll be their turn. They are expecting their own little baby. And I have a few things I want to share with them from my short time as a dad so far…

You will never have anything clean to wear ever again. You’ll get something fresh from the wardrobe and it will undoubtedly have some sort of stain on it within twenty minutes.
Your washing machine will be in constant use for cleaning the poopy stained onesies.
Buy some ACE stain remover. Trust me.
That most irritating noisy toy will scare you shitless when it goes off unexpectedly AND it’s at the bottom of the basket AND you’ve just got your baby to sleep. You will NEVER get off your ass so fast to stop it. If anyone or anything threatens your baby's chance of sleep, you will feel the rage.
You will see more of the village you live in than ever before from all the walks you go on taking the baby out in the pushchair (either to get him to sleep or just the fact you need to get out of the house with him!)
You both sleep so well… and through anything! Enjoy that. The littlest murmur from your baby and you’ll be up quicker than lightening.
Every moment that the little one sleeps will feel like you have a moment to breathe again. Those naps are an absolute god send in the early days.
Your cats will be traumatised when the time comes for your little one to start walking and grabbing. Good luck Millie & Cookie.
You’ll see so much poo.
You might even get poo'd on a little.
You'll definitely get puked on. Fact of life.
It will no longer be about which villa to book for your next holiday but instead it'll be which cotbed should you get? Are those nappies organic? Is this car seat safe?
Your emotions will vary about twenty times a day. From happy tears to sheer anxiety when you realise the baby has been asleep a whole hour and he’s never slept that long so you have to rush and check that he’s still breathing.
Around the time they start to get active you’ll forget what a hot drink feels like. Or do what I do and just microwave the tea…
When you're back at work you'll never be more excited to get home to your family.
You will feel quite emotionally drained, exhausted and as you’re giving birth your body may not feel ‘right’ for a bit (or so I’ve heard) as well as just feeling generally all over the place. It’s called Parenthood. Welcome. You are not alone. You will love every single second. And my god you will be amazing mummy’s. You are about to experience a love like nothing you could ever imagine. Your hearts will multiply in size. You got this. And we are so happy to be able to share in this journey with you.

xxx